Suicide: the act or an instance of taking one's own life voluntarily and intentionally. Seems pretty cut and dry. Suicide is one act with one outcome. However, the situations that surround suicide and suicidal people can vary drastically. This is evident by the definition of suicidal.
Suicidal: dangerous especially to life; destructive to one's own interests; relating to or of the nature of suicide; marked by an impulse to commit suicide. There's a lot of grey area there in what that can mean or when someone can fall into that category.For instance, by that definition, I am suicidal. I think about suicide every day. I wonder if this will be the day I finally do or start making plans to do it. I am dangerous to my own life. I'm a ticking time bomb. However you want to say it, there are thoughts that I want to die going through my head all the time. But that doesn't necessarily mean I am ready to die. It does mean that the ideas are running through my head all of the time. Thinking about it and acting on it are 2 very different things.
People like me are considered to have suicidal ideations. According to Medical News Today, here is the list of symptoms of suicidal ideation. To quote Samuel L. Jackson, hold on to your butts:
- Appearing to feel trapped or hopeless
- Appearing to have an abnormal preoccupation with violence, dying and/or death
- Being in a heightened state of anxiety
- Being very moody
- Changing personality
- Changing routine
- Changing sleeping patterns
- Consuming (more) drugs
- Consuming more alcohol
- Engaging in risky behavior, such as driving carelessly or taking drugs
- Getting affairs in order
- Getting hold of a gun, medications, or substances that could end a life
- Giving stuff away
- Having depression
- Having panic attacks
- Impaired concentration
- Increased self-criticism
- Isolating oneself
- Psychomotor agitation - such as pacing around a room, wringing one's hands, taking off clothing and putting it back on, and other such actions
- Saying goodbye to others as if it were the last time
- Seeming to be unable to experience pleasurable emotions from normally pleasurable life events such as eating, exercise, social interaction or sex
- Seeming to have severe remorse
- Talking about killing oneself, expressing regret about being alive or ever having been born.
Now of course just because someone has 1 or 2 of these symptoms doesn't mean they are suicidal. They are, however, massive warning signs. When you see someone exhibiting these behaviors, it is a definite red flag that that person might be suicidal or formulating a plan to commit the act. There are a few that when combined with others are alarming and a doctor should be consulted. They are increased drug or alcohol use, increased self-criticism, isolating oneself, and changes in personality.
Another factor is that people who are depressed can exhibit a lot of these alarming symptoms and not be suicidal. I compare those types of people to Eeyore. They aren't happy but they aren't macabre enough to actually commit the act. They will usually be constantly critical of themselves, have trouble finding pleasure in everyday activities, and frequently be anxious or have panic attacks. But they find the hope they need and usually can recover and lead normal lives.
All too often, the people who experience these symptoms don't get the help they need or don't find their silver lining. Typically, it will start with one or two symptoms and the next thing you know they are slipping down the rabbit hole. Depression is a very tricky disease to handle. Since it is a disease of the mind, you don't ever know how someone will react to you when you try and reach out or let them know you care.
The thing to remember in these situations is that 9 times out of 10, they will push you away. They might even get mad. You will likely be faced with tears or aggression. If you really care, you will continue to push to open them up. It could be a matter of life and death. Sometimes a smile can be everything.
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